Gathering thoughts…
A world of little thoughts.
When you were a child, this was a recurrent scene: It's Sunday, all your family gathers around the table to have breakfast. Your mother is pouring the coffee and your father is reading the paper. You see him scanning the pages, looking for something that grabs his attention. He reads and nods a few times, doing some…
Today, I struggled with stomach pains, felt generally a bit unwell, and even vomited. Initially, I thought it might be food poisoning from something I ate. But as the day went on, I started to think there might be another reason. I've been pushing myself too hard lately - not regarding the workload, that's doable, but…
We're always optimising that we lose the ability to really enjoy any moment. We are always trying to see, "How can I get the most of this moment". If you look at Efficiency as a formula = Value out of this moment / Time spent on this moment. Then we have begun to optimise for both = Getting most value, whilst spending…
Often, when we do things we overlook things and don't see the blind spots. In retrospect they look stupid and trivial to point that you get harsh on yourself. You often say things to yourself like "how can you be so dumb?" and "i should have been careful and not so naive". You start questioning your ability and it…
Bom, vamos lá. VIRADOURO, NÉ? CAMPEÃ, na minha opinião! Que lindeza a homenagem que fizeram pro mestre Ciça na Sapucaí. O desfile foi surpreendente do inicio ao fim. Todo mundo lindo, feliz e, mais importante, emocionado. Realmente, tem gente que faz muita diferença né? Ele próprio estava emocionadíssimo, totalmente…
This is the deal. There are no "one size fits all" solutions in reality. You can see this out there in different realms. Be it the product creation, the medical, online course, financial and so on. It's like that meme of the different characters along the bell curve. Which also relates quite well with the graph of…
When I'm with you, I feel like I'm a thousand feet tall. When I think I've lost you, I feel like I'm dying. I live for all the little moments I spend with you, your smile, your voice, the little curve of your nose and the silly way you make the worst things funny. You are never far from my thoughts. I could write a…
Extractive systems exhaust resources by removing them faster than they replenish. These systems are parasitic, while regenerative systems are symbiotic. Regenerative systems protect and enrich what they depend on. Consider a few regenerative examples: - A regenerative economy would protect the natural energy systems…
My room is not so tidy. I don’t have a place for the shoes, there are some sheets of paper on the floor, but it’s okay. I look at it and I’m scared. It looks temporary. Now it’s tidy, tomorrow will be a mess. And the more I try to keep it tidy, the more my fear grows. Just like for my mind, I’m afraid of the following…
Working in real life construction teaches you people that are working low level jobs (usually labour work) have more technical capabilities in terms of the way they think (programmed to think: how. dimensions in xyz. where and when to get the necessary tools) But the people on the management levels do not necessarily…
I have no feeling for the rain, except that I enjoy it, and that I also enjoy people's derision, disgust and disdain for it. Today I have spent the entire day indoors, while it pitter-patters outside, ranging from light pittering to tremendous pattering, enough to shake my windows and scare mighty, bulky, mammoth…
some of the first things that i want to read now, before i really start reading a book, is the "about the author" section and i've noticed that it is usually like - birth year - birth place - current place of residence and it's like: why? why is this the info they choose to share? and when talking about artists of any…
Acabei de ler Quem Matou o Meu Pai, do Édouard Louis e não posso usar outra palavra que não "cortante" para descrever a experiência de ler tudo em uma sentada. A forma como ele costura sua história pessoal com a política... A rejeição dos pais por ele ser quem é, a repetição dos padrões, mesmo quando há tentativa de…
As a new year's resolution this year, I would like to write a book. Nothing too complicated, something small that helps software engineers learn to make homemade ramen from scratch. I'd love to package what I know into something I can hand friends when they're in a funk, eating too much processed food, and spending…
Now in the early years of my fourth decade as an adult, am trying to determine what will end up being my go to cocktail in this decade. Wine has and will always remain my trusted and loyal companion at home. Beer will be that calm, peaceful and silent friend walking by my side. But a cocktail will take on a…
(original: 2009 April 18) in memory of jengyee: april 27 tree planting at Cal for the tree planting ceremony ... To commemorate Jengyee's lasting devotion to Cal, a beautiful California live oak tree will be planted on campus just south of Etcheverry Hall. We cordially invite you to join us for the planting and an…
I wake up at 6:47 AM and the first thought is: I'm not going to smoke today. The second thought, three minutes later while I'm already on the balcony with a cigarette between my fingers, is: Well, fuck. It's not like I forgot. I remember saying it yesterday—actually saying it out loud to myself while brushing my…
I have stepped foot on the hamster wheel, constantly running, keeping things in motion—the act of creation and destruction. In my case, my online persona. Just now, I discovered this blogging site, on my umpteenth attempt to write some sorry excuse of a blog which I will be deleting once again, just like the others I…
I wanted to save myself from me. It was a horrifying experience where I was so scared of my life that I wanted to end it because all I could hear myself say was that I am not enough. I started chasing money, power, fame. It then reached a point where I wanted to do everything to prove a point to myself that I am…
...she, anyway, doesn't know me anymore. we ended things. i couldn't stand being around her. it doesn't mean that i loved her any less. i loved her more than she loved herself. she loved me less than she loved the version of me she wanted. you see...there was our problem. i had brought this to her attention as well.…
No words can pin down what we call reality, but words too are real
People don’t like getting sick, but I do. Getting something like the cold has several stages. First, there’s the feeling that it’s coming. Then you’re actually sick—the low point. After a while, you start getting better. It’s the getting better part that makes me like getting sick. Why is it enjoyable, exactly? You…
It's a toxic question. We like to press ourselves with it all the time. We use it to police each other. Diagnose the problem. Administer medication. It's how we like to handle problems. The question points our attention inwards and focuses on the mess we're swirling in. A better question is: What matters to you? This…
I think this is such a good outlook and it's something to catch yourself on. A specific example. I went to see The Batman a few months ago and I've had lots of people ask me what I thought about it. I said that I thought it was good, but I said that I had seen it before. Corrupt cops, a mob that runs the city, good…
Ahhh! a bold idea can spark conversation between those who never spoke before. it's weight is heavy before the conversation existed. it becomes lighter as the idea is shared in conversations with others...
1. my morning walk on the street curved along the beach 2. books. im currently reading "muhammad" (a historical biography; i'm trying to read a historical biography of the "founders" or figureheads of every major religion...so far i've read about jesus and there was not much information to satisfy but this specific…
Hmm. This morning, I was thinking to myself that we use too many apps anyways, and now, I'm thinking of building another one. But then, I find myself excited to see what lies ahead. Also, it depends on the time of day. In the mornings, I am more open to screen-time, but by the evening, it gets too much.
Okay, some more thinking. Maybe I can relate now with what Nelson went through when I started dating Musti. He said he found it mean that I was being so lovey dovey in front of him. That I was doing things and showing affection for musti that I never showed Nelson and that he always craved. Perhaps I’m going to feel…
thick full lashes seem like an adaptation strategy to desert living...(like camels) i wonder why people think thick full lashes are so sexy are we attracted to desert dwellers? i read that when modern humans left africa, they mated with neanderthals (who come from the valley "thal" of neander) and thus gained genes…
I recently came home after completing college and shutting down a startup, this has given me a lot of time to reflect about the past and think about the future. A friend suggested me to let my mind wander, so i've been watching, reading and doing random stuff (as long as I enjoyed them). One of the things I recently…
my writing process is... weird. this week, i knew i had to write a pretty important proposal for station, so i told myself that i would start early. but monday passed... tuesday passed... wednesday passed and there i was on thursday night taking my shower getting ready to go to bed telling myself that i'd wake up…
Around Christmas every year, I trawl through The Guardian and NYT best books of the year lists. Then, there's a visit to the bookshop and a supplementary Amazon order. The Guardian's 2021 list of best crime books included a review of Riccardino, by the late Italian author Andrea Camilleri, who I hadn't heard of…
I am no longer employed. For anyone to survive in the corporate world, one has to follow some rules. If you want to pursue further studies, you have to study for it along with your job. You have to manage to keep your boss happy and at the same time squeeze more time out to study and ace your exams. If you are someone…
If there's one thing you should know about me, it is that I adore cinema. It is my favorite art form without a doubt. Its powers are like no other. And what would be better than to make more people aware of its majestic qualities. I present you a list of 5 movies that would interest to watch and dig deeper into this…
While still in the early pages of reading the book- Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, something deeply poignant came through. Time as a unit of measure, is a relatively new phenomena. Watches and clocks arrived to help us become more productive and achieve more in a 24 hour time frame. Several authors have…
To look back at this year, I need to go back further, starting with 2007. I have a tainted memory of a late night wrestling with my thoughts, I seem to remember thinking to myself that I was insulated from the worlds problems because I live in the UK. A few months later, I witnessed a global financial meltdown and the…
We were never taught how to be angry. Wrath was the province of God, and occasionally that of fathers offered insult. That, I think, is how I never noticed it seeping in at slights and kicks until it had long curdled in my marrow.
If one believes a certain proposition to be true for all times and for all places, the proposition can be said to be universally true. Conversely, if a proposition is only true for a particular time and place, the proposition may be true for other times and other places, but not necessarily so. Consider the…
Today is my birthday. For some reasons I don't like my birthday. Why could that be? As a child, birthdays were magical - filled with excitement, gifts, and cake. Now, as an adult, the shine has worn off. Why? Perhaps it's the contrast between childhood anticipation and adult reality. As grown-ups, we can buy what we…
Most of us have hobbies or interests that are a part of, or define who we are. Some make a career out of it, going in deep and letting their curiosity lead them wherever it goes. Others just like being able to relax, doing what they enjoy. But there are some who are interested in a multitude of things, so many objects…
I don't dare let myself believe the ideas I actually feel are true. It would make me feel far too exposed. I need someone else to validate me before taking an idea on as a capital-B Belief. I'd like at least one other person to go 'yeah, makes sense to me'. If I don't get that, I better tuck the idea away and try to…
It was like running downhill. The plan was to be slow and steady. I found myself picking up momentum the further I ran. Or, in my case, the more I journaled. I thought journaling gratitude would be enough to carry me for the rest of my days. But I talked to other journalists. I read about journaling. What benefits…
I sent the email to the wrong person. Their email to me was demanding and accusatory. I wasn’t sure why. I intended to forward it to a peer to ask what they thought. I hit reply instead of forward. Lucky for me, my email was short and simple. “I’m not sure what to think of this.” After that, I started sleeping on my…
What happens when a world imaginary yet real chooses to collapse within itself, annihilation they call out loud but that dystopian is far stretched to be comprehended for physicality to experience. Yet, for a subjective individual withdrawing from an addiction would be a close reference to that “annihilation” wherein…
plane tickets and a dusty suitcase stacked away in lofts, in your search you only found the one thing that was never lost and yet you yearn for parts of you you cannot reclaim because your broadened horizon means you’re not the same and yourself is the only one to blame.
The quantum of the gap between need and desire is inversely proportional to the degree of contentment we possess.
To be influencing And effective in your words The smartest/dumbest person would do when someone point his pain point to you is straight to to his pain point and talk about that point Side him first “I understand! He’s so COPYCAT like omg I can’t believed what he did” “But…” “Have you thought of talking to him about…
It occurred to me then that Kiwi is the Annabel to Kippy’s Lolita. And truly I don’t think I ever recovered from her death. This whole meme is getting out of hand, this cometragedy of beloved animal soulmates
