Believe what you believe

I don't dare let myself believe the ideas I actually feel are true. It would make me feel far too exposed.

I need someone else to validate me before taking an idea on as a capital-B Belief. I'd like at least one other person to go 'yeah, makes sense to me'. If I don't get that, I better tuck the idea away and try to live according to sphere of acceptable beliefs.

I guess I thought everyone else was doing this too.

Children are born into the world as little scientists, or so I've heard. They drop their spoon on the floor and go 'oh, that's what happens'. Adults are big little scientists. We form a belief, live accordingly, and fuck around and find out, basically. That's real validation, right? It involves possible falsification.

The warrior move here is to simply fully accept the beliefs that bubble up in you, knowing you could be wrong, but still truly taking part in that belief. You can then use that acceptance to hold the belief up to the harsh light of day. That is, test it in the real world. Which is actually what naturally happens if you allow yourself to base your actions on your beliefs. As always, warriorship comes down to the bravery to take your layers of protection off, and allow yourself to experience the joy and pain of the world as it actually is. Life is less painful if you find a way to open your tender heart to reality without trying to game it in anyway, and live with what comes.