Gathering thoughts…
A world of little thoughts.
Pessimism is a disease of the mind. It is where hope goes to die. It is the virtue of the loser, the quitter. It is the darkness that is cool comfort for those to scared to live before they die. With the collapse of FTX and the fraudulent and terrible actions surrounding those placed in positions of trust in the…
For about a month now, I’ve been working on writing a novel from an idea I’ve been working out for a few years. While writing a novel is something I’ve always wanted to do it is somewhat daunting. I began writing this story a few years ago as a graphic novel, but found myself discouraged when I couldn’t afford to pay…
my sleep was really poor i blame it on (1) lack of exercise (2) having to sleep next to a person (3) said person "forcing" me to watch movies with him, but delaying the start of the movie until late because he has to "work on something", causing unfavorable screen lights to enter my field of consciousness and…
Então, ontem depois de remoer mais um pouco o atendimento horrível que recebi na famosa padaria, mandei uma mensagem pro dono. O sentimento é dúbio: "ah, mas foi só um croissant de chocolate..." E ao mesmo tempo "exato. Mesmo numa coisa tão pequena, a pessoa se sente no direito de me tratar assim...". Enfim, seguimos.…
I took off my bracelet i recently made, in the night, whilst asleep and must have set it in another dimension because it's not reappeared yet today. This is reason to clean my room. Which I'm not happy about. Executive function is not a strong force in me.
This is one of the key practices that people don’t talk about: Holding an unsolved problem in your mind without trying to solve it. There’s two big reasons it’s a valuable skill: 1. You have a lot of stuck habits, some of which are useful, some of which are harmful, but breaking out of them is tricky. A habit is just…
So it's my turn of having a car that will remain mostly unused in the parking lot of my building, as I work from home. Never thought I would ever have a car, because I don't need one, but the hard winter of Canada, the long waiting time for public transportation in the cold, and the hassle that is now using the car…
I'm soon going to complete my 30th lap around the Sun. I'm not sure what life expectancy is these days, but it's fair to assume that I'm half way through life. The years ahead me will be very different from the ones of the past. I'll probably have more resources but less energy. It's like the part of the movie post…
Estou passando uns dias na casa dos meus pais em São Paulo. Voltar para cá me faz encarar uma realidade de onde às vezes teimo em escapar. Estava refletindo sobre a minha preguiça quando ouvi a minha mãe no cômodo debaixo arrastando o andador para se movimentar pela casa. Ela faz questão de fazer tudo apesar da…
One of life's mysteries is how we get stuck too easily as we age. We make assumptions based on past experiences. We hold back from new adventures based on how others act. We say 'no' before we have even tried. My granddaughter and I were playing with a bottle of bubbles in the front yard. She can come up with endless…
fuck on nights like these i wish i had the scent of a woman's hair to carry away all the pain and anxieties of tomorrow im just a broken man in search of a woman's touch just to hear her voice and lose myself in those giggles where is my lover? i just need to be held bury my head in her bust and lose myself in her…
então, eu posso ter demorado imensamente, mas voltei! e só finalizo esse blog quando atingir 365 posts. ontem eu assisti incompatível com a vida e chorei... chorei por ter me visto me despedindo, cantando, dançando, gritando, desguando sobretudo. pode sair, tá tudo bem. também pandemia. também ecos. também vômitos de…
To be not listening to breakup songs Put yourself into position that will not let you feel deep into your own sorrow That’s pretty stupid Think of everyone else - why do Elon Musk and some successful people can achieve so much Because they do not fell into the bug feeling melancholic emotions There’s so much other…
Coming to terms with failing in big or small things is a difficult and ongoing challenge baked into life. It’s the struggle for perfection in whatever way we define it and the realization that it is not attainable. There is no perfect. There is just the pursuit and recovery. Getting tied to the idea of perfection only…
one day we will no longer understand proust, just as we don't understand beowulf but we will always understand liszt and his liebestraum.
She was a poem, I wrote in the sand, and I watched, As the waves of time, faded her memory. Time draws its own lines, carrying away each moment, each word. I was a fool to think, the shore, could hold her forever. Like the beautiful sunset, at dusk, watch it with awe, take it all in, because the sky will darken. Now,…
There is a tale of a priest and the dog where tying the dog eventually becomes the ritual but a hollow one. A hollow ritual is a ritual with no essence just like a hollow festival. Most festivals we celebrate are hollow , abstracted from the essence of their origin. What allows this phenomenon to occur is selfishness.…
Every now and then I see replies about Smartphone like "They are good enough, what more do people want?" And I kept wondering, really? The iPhone 16 Pro is expected to be 8.25mm thick. Compare this to iPod touch which was 6.1mm, or even iPad Pro 11" at 5.9mm. I could do a 2.25mm reduction in thickness. And then the…
In the book "Thinking Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman, there is a distinction made between two aspects of thinking: system one and system two. System one refers to fast and automatic thinking, while system two involves slow and deliberate thought processes. For everyday tasks like opening doors or getting dressed,…
Step 4 - There are some things you keep ready in advance, like 2 finely chopped tomatoes, a bunch of coriander leaves, and half lemon. Now add them all to the the cooker. And stir them well. In the figure of eight..? Yes, try. The tomatoes will release a lot of water. Keep stirring well to mash the tomatoes…
Take a moment to think about where you are right now in the world, the room or the building or town you're in. You can probably visualize your surroundings in your head, how you got here, where you are in relation to surrounding places. Now think of where you are right now on the internet. Think about how the place…
There are times and topics that make me want to lay in the middle of the floor and stay there until... who knows. I have yet to take that option. Yesterday at a mental health facility a patient opened the door to his balcony, looked down, turned around, and laid down in the middle of the hallway until someone came and…
Crowds are scary when you're in them. I love watching crowds from afar. Trying to track one single person through this swarm is some form of amusement I enjoy. It gives me the same rush as I imagine someone who enjoys doing crosswords would chase. I used to do this with ants too. When I was a kid and banned from…
OK. Here's my attempt at using nicheless. What I like: + The minimalistic UI + No-fluff usability; even lack of formatting! + Lack of media and all that comes with it Few questions though + Would it help increase my writing? Is there less pressure due to the smaller word limit? Can I aim for a post a week? + Would it…
Li A hora da estrela, de Clarice Lispector e hoje discuti no clube do livro sobre como a obra me tocou. Também me pergunto com frequência se sou um monstro ou isso é ser uma pessoa, Clarice, por ir contra minha criação principalmente. Ver uma pessoa tão simples economizando a vida, repetindo crenças que não fazia…
All models are wrong; some models are useful. Models are fantasies every single one of us holds in our consciousness about how the external world, in whole or in part, works. We are constantly exercising and updating these models to decide how bring reality into accordance with our desire. When things work as…
I'm no more on a streak. Couldn't write yesterday. Nevertheless, the 30-essay series still continues. Today I am writing about productivity - a topic that is beaten to death a million times, every day, day after day. Well, this one is a different. I'm not selling a "I-know-it-all-shoving-it-down-your-throat"…
Hoje li a newsletter de Clarissa Wolff onde ela diz: "Nos seus diários, Sylvia se rebelava contra o mundo masculino em que vivia, alegando que nascer mulher era uma tragédia. Ela rejeitava o papel de protetora das emoções dos homens e das questões de casa, buscava a segurança de andar sozinha à noite, poder viver o…
I was wondering about how long it takes to get the results of a blood culture and the fact that they don’t yield great results in most cases, which led me to think about flow cytometry and how it might be able to detect bacteria faster than waiting for bacteria to grow in a blood culture. Turns out other people have…
It’s just decisions who make up who you are Waking up rather than staying on bed is not a choice someone ask you to do or “you didn’t have a choice” It’s how you decide to use your best knowledge for everything you do
Have you ever thought that for yourself? Do you even have an idea? It seems fitting for an entry on the first day of the new year. Because there's a lot of stuff on social media and the internet about the so called "New Years Resolutions". That at this point is more a meme than any other thing. Most of us know (and…
Why are we so willing to change things like our cars or kitchens, yet so reluctant to change our deeply held beliefs or opinions?
Crossing the threshold into tranquility. Silence. Figures reading, learning, absorbing. You tread lighter than usual. Paces slower. A softness of the feet as a sign of respect to the literature. A wave of colour greets you. Blinding brightness, as you search for familiarity. A name, a face, a feeling. Row by row of…
I'm always surprised when I find out that I'm not who I thought I am. When I was younger, I thought of myself as a go-getter. Someone who pursued. A manic worker. But I find satisfaction now in not pursuing every possibility. In being selective and leaving a lot of room and time to digest and think rather than just…
In my teens - I was a commi/socialist. Read Che. I thought everyone should share everything in equal parts. In my 20s, I want to conquer the world. Nothing can stop me. Hell yeah! Started tilting towards center. In my 30s, I'm part of capitalist system, and turned capitalist. Believes money can buy happiness & many…
I do not want to be dependent on the arbitrariness of others. I do not want to do something just because another person has decided for me that I should do it. I want autonomy and freedom. I notice that I have developed a real allergy to authority in recent years.
I have always found myself constantly searching for that one thing that will turn my life around. That one solution that will solve all my problems and make everything better. I remember times when I have lacked patience and have sought instant results. For instance,when I started doing yoga, I wanted to do advanced…
I saw a tweet by Democratic congressman Ritchie Torres accusing dissident journalist Glenn Greenwald of being a "useful idiot" for believing the fake backstory of recently elected Republican congressman George Santos. I know who the first two people are, and I've never heard of the third. I Google his name and the…
Twitter is different from Instagram and YouTube because Twitter is where politics and journalism live. Journalists construct the world. The media world the rest of us live in. If you influence Twitter, you influence the ink that fills the pages of culture more broadly. TV producers and reporters are listening to what…
I have nothing against people who like planning and following plans. But all planning is ultimately your need to feel in control. It's a you-problem. I say problem because being good at planning nurtures a bit of entitlement within you. You move ahead in life thinking - because plans work out 70% time, the other 30%…
It is difficult to really 'enjoy' coffee at home. Compare having coffee at home v/s having coffee in a cafe. The latter is always a more enriching experience. Why? Expectations and context-setting. You go to a cafe and see people enjoying coffee. You keep your phone on the side, take a sip and actually 'feel' what…
Asking is a vital part of communication and connecting with others. As a professional, I had no difficulty asking questions to clarify a situation. I wanted to make the best decision possible. In social settings, I find it difficult to ask questions. Do you find yourself falling victim to these situations? We assume…
More often than not we find ourselves doing things, either at the influence of the parents, society or the people around us unknowingly, almost in a mechanical trance but something clicks and we start questioning the act itself. Makes one wonder, are we consciously doing what we are supposed to do or are we binded by…
During intense work phases, I often find myself deprioritizing social interactions to maintain focus and minimize distractions. While solitude often boosts my productivity and I enjoy my own company, I also realize how much I like to engage with open and inspiring people - they energize me. The last two days, I hosted…
as coisas mudam tão rápido né? começo de ano mais uma vez, estou mudando de casa, mudei de emprego e me vejo rodeada por caixas e buscando desesperadamente assentar. no trabalho, as coisas tão ficando cada vez melhores. completei três meses hoje e continuo feliz. quem diria que a minha enxaqueca semanal era por…
this is a personal note, nothing wise. I consider myself to be a very disciplined and wise person for my age. but there are moments where I feel, where is this wisdom even leading me to. all the people I know do cool stuff and living just amazingly. how to make sure that what I'm doing, excluding myself from every fun…
If only I could.. Left in the liminal spaces Adrift
For as long as I can remember, I've hated Sunday morning mass. I'm not a morning person, and a six day school week meant I had one day to sleep in. But Jesus had other ideas. He convinced my mother of them, and she was relentless. So I went. But unfortunately for her, most of my time in church was spent convincing…
