Gathering thoughts…
A world of little thoughts.
a little bummed that the sun goes down at 5:30 and at 6:00 it feels like midnight i like the night but still it is far too early to feel like i have to start cooking... i'm starting to like poetry (thanks, sylvia plath) also i am no longer afraid that i won't have time to read all the books i want to read i am now…
[since pretty much no one would be able to find this link unless they saw my goodreads account, i've decided to put a lot of my book-focused ideas here] some readers are also writers, but sometimes people are just purely readers. i'm watching tokyochemist on youtube compare virginia woolf and ottessa moshfegh and she…
I have ENOUGH money. What I don't have enough of is - happiness fun meaning
This 100-day project does not take weekends off. But I'm staying true to my overall writing philosophy: write something every day. In my mother's immortal words, "Keep Saturday Saturday: start late and go slow." I started very late, 2pm, and the 15 minute goal to write anything project-related became 30 and 45 and…
she stood there broken because she heard someone she held dear telling another a sacred confession of public adoration and she stood and sobbed unaware of it all oblivious the same sadness consumes me when i recall that i don’t serve him dinners or he doesn’t hold me through oaths and i think to myself; you & me both
the first thing if you give it more time than it's worth. Try not to be alarmed. It will come back to you.
Incidents that have scarred me from Nelson: 1. ITC, telling me to not initiate conversations with guys until they talk to me first 2. Telling me that I should not disagree with him in public multiple times 3. Breaking my glasses because he was angry 4. Telling me wearing a langa voni for my sisters engagement and…
All models are wrong; some models are useful. Models are fantasies every single one of us holds in our consciousness about how the external world, in whole or in part, works. We are constantly exercising and updating these models to decide how bring reality into accordance with our desire. When things work as…
Be it in relationships, careers, personal development, or any other line of interest. The core is and always has been the same. "Keep doing small intentional efforts" Without this the relationship feels like it has come to an end or at the very least you feel unloved. You can't make Career change, personal development…
A while back at a public event, I saw a guy with a shirt that had a design with those words (it was a cool design btw). It was one of those moments that you are like "ohhh, cool shirt" and that's it. But the phrase got stuck in my head, so much so that later on, I wrote a note on my cellphone. With everything I've…
Now in the early years of my fourth decade as an adult, am trying to determine what will end up being my go to cocktail in this decade. Wine has and will always remain my trusted and loyal companion at home. Beer will be that calm, peaceful and silent friend walking by my side. But a cocktail will take on a…
The Greeks believed art was created where the gods Apollo and Dionysus come together. Where rationality and irrationality merge. I believe they can teach us a lot about self discipline. How? listen up. Since the beginning of modern philosophy our culture has put rationality on a pedestal. Thinking we could conquer any…
Minha Doguinha, que eu chamo eventualmente de gordita, mas também de carinho, amorzão, butijaozinho, marronzinha, bananinha, galinho de briga, saco sem fundo, gulosinha, entre vários outros nomes carinhosos (ela atende todos), está dormindo pesadamente do meu lado. São duas da manhã e tô acordada pq despertei com ela…
Okay, some more thinking. Maybe I can relate now with what Nelson went through when I started dating Musti. He said he found it mean that I was being so lovey dovey in front of him. That I was doing things and showing affection for musti that I never showed Nelson and that he always craved. Perhaps I’m going to feel…
I feel sadness I feel blocked I feel stupid What are the thoughts producing these feelings? - There's so much to do. - There are so many unknowns. - My words don't always make sense. - Am I actually bringing value to this world?
The past three places I've lived have all been near a busy street. Not too busy, with cars honking and voices shouting. Not too loud like a highway. Instead, just the right amount of busy, at the right times. What do I mean by this? In the morning, when I wake up, I hear the cars and people start to move about,…
When studying something Im not particularly a fan of I just eat, not because of hunger, but because of the necessity to stay awake. This happens even if I try all the tips and tricks from studying with other people, taking breaks, sitting in the right positions, making it interactive... my eyes just close. Starting to…
The uncertainty of life gives birth to its need for purpose.
We all have sense of self, an identity that we are known for but in reality the sense of self doesn’t actually exist. Your perception and thoughts of the world are born from the environment you are now in and the environment you grow up as a child in. Your character is what you are to others, what you show others is…
I tried my hand at cold emailing for the first time in November last year. I was greatly inspired by Shatakashi, GGI and her noble cause to provide quality Business and Policy education to young adults. I reached out to her mentioning how her content on LinkedIn helped me gain a lot of perspective and expressed my…
Exciting times! I just bought 2 holidays this weekend. In March I'm going to Cyprus for one week with my two older boys. D won't be joining us - She will've just changed her job and -although they say she can work anywhere she wants- she doesn't want to test them on this yet. But I need a week in the sun every Feb/…
What will forever haunt me about the Tyre Nichols murder is that he was calling for his mother during the last moments he was beaten to death. For all intents and purposes he died scared and alone, with no one to hold is hand and tell him he is loved. I know exactly what it's like to be alone, in the dark, scared, and…
Today, I heard something I haven't heard in a while—my mom said, "I wish I had a son." I knew this; I knew she always wanted a son. At the same time since I was a kid, I’ve been compared to other people, the kids of other families. As I grew up, those comments came up less and less. But today, my mom met one of my…
Indian hospitals are choatic by nature. When something is build to cater to such a larger number of customers, the quality is bound to take a hit. At least, that's the justification we all come to believe in. It is a chaotic mess of patients, their family, security guards, nurses and doctors, all trying to coexist and…
It sometimes baffles me just how much a walk or hike in nature can boost my mental capacities. Being at home or work surrounded by books, notes and brilliant people just never get the cogs turning like the sound of birds chirping, water flowing and life happening at it's own pace. So, there I was in my local forest…
Professional sport is portrayed as being the pinnacle of human physical ability. I call BS. Sport is entertainment. And professional sport is professional entertainment. There is no evolutionary advantage for millions of people sit down to watch 22 grown men chase a ball. We do it because it entertains us. In the past…
I’ve been working on building some reverb tanks the last few weeks. I got the first one wired tonight and I messed up something. The two circuit boards, that are not connected, are somehow interacting with each other. I’m going to try and wire up the second one tomorrow and see if I can find what I did wrong the first…
Sometimes when I look at something that I have written, I can't believe I thought of these words. These words, they just come to me. I have to put pen on paper and give it form. I feel like a messenger at times. The universe or some cosmic force whispering to me. Sometimes these words don't feel like mine. I never…
"Use a picture. It's worth a thousand words." - Arthur Brisbane, at the Syracuse Advertising Men's Club in 1911. You've heard this phrase as, "a picture is worth a thousand words". Pictures can be used to enhance the journal visually. When writing your thoughts, you must use words. It's not necessary to write long…
as i transcribe her old columns, newspaper clippings yellowed with years, flanked by ads for local shops that no longer exist, her persona begins to take form. as if i were sitting at a potter's wheel, coaxing out a shape. as if i were writing a novel, the setting and characters slowly coming to life. i did not…
Lately I've been thinking a lot about death. I don't find myself subscribing to the notion of heaven/hell or nothingness. They seem like two ends of a spectrum. Believing in heaven/hell implies that there is something to work for, and toward. They act like an inbuilt conscience system. Believing in nothingness is…
In late October 1983, Dad handed me 2 tickets for India-West Indies at Feroz Shah Kotla. Back then, watching live Test cricket was the pinnacle of entertainment for most teenage boys. "Take Nishit and go after school". Original intentions were noble. A change of clothes went into the school bag (didn't want the…
"Sometimes, the heaviest things we carry are the things we never got to say" Grief is not a storm. It's the cupboard that won't open anymore. He found it on a Tuesday. That quiet, off-colored moment where nothing hurts and everything does. A sock without a pair. A phone with the number still saved. The absurdity of a…
i guess i suppose i can’t say for sure but then again maybe can neither confirm nor deny that you’re in my mind all the time maybe I’ll win maybe I’ll loose maybe it’ll just blow the fuse and we’ll sit there in the dark pitch black wondering how to make it out of this mess
I think it will be weird and will take some time to get used to the two of them dating. I’ll need some time to recalibrate This will be such different roles from what I’m used to seeing. And maybe I’ll just have a lot of difficulty getting used to seeing Nelson being treated with respect and love. Seeing Shivani being…
Teachers. Parents. Friends or colleagues But the one that can teach you is experiences Your own experiences and mistakes So never feel like you’ll not where you meant to be - you are! Use time wisely and explore else you’ll miss out the opportunities Of just being yourself And feeling confident Anxiety - everyone…
It’s just decisions who make up who you are Waking up rather than staying on bed is not a choice someone ask you to do or “you didn’t have a choice” It’s how you decide to use your best knowledge for everything you do
The harder you try, the farther it goes. I've noticed every time I try to coddle or pet my cat, she runs away. The more I try, the farther she runs. She's a cat. I know. But...when I ignore her, she comes asking for pets. The law of reversed effort says when we chase something or someone, it moves away from us. But…
Today is my last day at work. Over the past 2 years, I realised for you to excel at anything, you need to give it hard work and time. All of us face the dilemma of making a decision for the future, but have very low threshold of patience. No one in this world became a star overnight. This is hard to digest but is the…
Mais uma rede social? Mais uma "plataforma"? Pois é, eu me defini como um "arroz de festa" em uma conversa, alguns dias atrás. Toda rede social ou plataforma de comunicação que aparece eu tenho curiosidade de conhecer e experimentar. No fim, acabo usando mesmo só umas poucas, e cada vez mais raramente. Mas quando tive…
I love synthesizers. I own a couple of vintage ones, and other bits of vintage audio gear. There's something very interesting about how they look and how they are designed, they're like a little time capsule of a bygone era, fascinating for a wide number of reasons. But it's also true that electronic bits of kit tend…
Yesterday in a class on human breast milk we discussed how it is considered a living tissue by some, because the breast milk contains living cells too. Many of these cells come from the gut associated lymphoid tissue(GALT), is what one of our professors said. And surely that led me to the next possible question, what…
Today I realised that most of the NICU(neonatal intensive care unit) everywhere are filled with babies with some problem related to their lungs. Which made me think, wow that’s a lot of problem and infection happening in one particular organ, which led me to think about which organ systems are exposed to the external…
Living an independent has been the goal. Although I earn, I haven't that goal yet. Let's plan for it. Let's do it.
India is undoubtedly facing challenging times. This isn't solely due to a specific party, but rather the collective direction we are taking as a nation. Our control has slipped away, replaced by desperation and misguided efforts. The current government's lack of action or passive endorsement of lawbreakers exacerbates…
I like to set some life goals for me, my husband, our little family. I set long term goals; I set short term goals. Very short ones, even. Like, what is our checklist on a random Saturday? Our goals last Saturday were doing laundry, taking Alia on a swim, and enjoying some hotpot for dinner. And we were right on…
Ontem eu tive terapia. E também descobri um bicho geográfico em mim, depois de mostrar meu pé para mais ou menos 10 pessoas do meu trabalho. Dois biólogos, uma jornalista, uma economista, uma historiadora, uma bibliotecária, um cara do TI, etc. Todos eles falaram: bicho geográfico! Tá vendo o rastro? E realmente, tá…
I have been feeling slightly uneasy about how to spend my time and days. I have a lot of work to finish and tasks to do, and I do not know where to start. The feeling of having too much to do, no idea where to begin but at the same time not having any hard deadlines to help me take decisions is happening. I am unable…
