Gathering thoughts…
A world of little thoughts.
The mind is a curious place. It's a place for ideas, a place for rest, a safe place for the softening of chaos, distress and pain. It is powerful, intense, bewildering and surprising all at once. Most importantly, it stores an immense trove of memories and information, some conscious (and even embarrassing!), but most…
we don't SET an intention -- we don't CHOOSE it we become AWARE of the intention within when i'm by myself, i flow and i get myself to a peak state of high but it is a very fragile state and very easily interrupted. so i kind of don't want to travel this winter because i don't see how anything external can be more…
It's crazy that a couple years ago I barely knew where Finland was and honestly haven't heard much of it in my life, but in such a short time I learned so much and actually gonna live here with not much knowledge from it. For me, this makes it way more exciting and feels like a bigger adventure that could help me grow…
I recall seeing so many resumes for software engineering positions that had COVID tracker projects. These people want to put their skills to use and show others that they have engineering talent, but they choose the most overdone and cliché project to make. Why do we need a COVID tracking app for the millionth time?…
Today I officially logged out of Facebook. I do not have the app on my phone and just use Chrome to doom scroll. Today, I just had enough. I catch myself doing it all the time. Its like I naturally gravitate to it, my thumb's natural navigation. Even if I fill that time spent elsewhere on social media, at least it…
There is a way to do it better If something is wrong Fix it - don’t let it gone by and just let it cruise - take in charge of the ship And find a way to guide yourself to the correct path. Apply discipline - and make sure that you’re doing the right one As small as - or should I say ESPECIALLY the small details. (Like…
Yesterday I started working on ramen based on local ingredients from Goa. So far I've swapped the traditional pork topping for a Goan Choriz and I blended cashew nuts into the broth. As I gently pushed the boundaries here I constantly found myself asking what makes ramen ramen? The black and white answer is that Ramen…
Como é bom descobrir alguém novo e gostar. Hoje fui no show da Salma Jo com meu boy com ingressos que ganhei de uma amiga. Ela comprou, mas não conseguiu mais ir. Disse que era porque estaria em outra cidade, mas eu acho que é porque a namorada dela falou que ela tem ido a muitos shows. Isso aconteceu em uma discussão…
Eu estava falando bastante. Perdendo a noção do tempo de tão falante e desperdiçando tanta energia em discussões aleatórias. Perdi a noção do tempo na vida real também. E nem percebi que chegou o dia 20 do primeiro mês do ano. Menstruei. Farta e abundantemente muito sangue jorrou e continua jorrando por aqui. Nos…
Equating the future with VR or AR is so lazy. I want a future that's tactile. I want a future that's intimate. I want to be immersed in crisp winter air, the touch of people I care for. I want to be immersed in presence.
Hoje é domingo. Ontem não escrevi, aproveitei a gordurinha que deixei aqui para descansar. Dormi muito, ouvi podcast, quase terminei uma série, vi BBB, terminei um livro. Cabeça de santo foi legal, apesar de apressado. A fala que mais me impressionou foi do coveiro dizendo que lidar com a morte o ensinou a viver. Já…
i've been thinking endlessly about sex lately either my biological clock is ticking and i'm ovulating and the body is desperate or it's because of the things i've been writing, creatively or i'm writing those things because the clock is ticking i'm writing the story i can't get out of my head the more i write it the…
Be very engaged in conversations The way you put your energy and soul into thinking things Will changed your perspective and yourself to the outside world Like how you talk to subcon You gotta be mentally prepared Very very prepared even your face has to be smiley all day else your PM will think you’re angry It’s a…
16g of coffee ground at a setting of 1/30. 240g of water heated to 95 degrees. Bloom the coffee with 30g of water and leave it for 35 seconds. Then pour the remaining 210g of water in slow concentric circles. That's my daily routine to prepare my first cup of coffee upon waking. As long as I stick to light or medium…
Ahh revealing a piece of my personality. it was scary at first, but once released, i was surprisingly calm. i now exists...
I'm terrified of this one word. It's just one word but contains an unknown universe within. A universe that I am part of, that I live in, yet that which I want to get out of. I was born into this realm and I continue to live within this reality. Even death does not seem to be a meaningful escape from this multiverse…
I haven't published a writing in some time even though I started a blog post about the struggles with my wife. I have been distracting myself with my hobbies and social events and she needs me at home, or rather, present, since I am always at home. I have taken a break from learning the piano, in practice. I was…
there was a study with mice where "the mice have a lever that they can press any time they want. When they press the button, a special optical sensor, which controls specific neurons in their brain, activates their dopamine neurons" anyway they pressed the button until they died with no desire of food or drink if…
While getting reunited with an old friend from school, we started to rewind on the people in school if we still stayed in contact with them or any news about them, and I realized once again why I wanted to run away from that place and cut ties with the majority of my classmates from fake smiles to manipulation,…
While visiting Copenhagen, she asked a local man how one finds parking. The man explained the process: write the time of arrival on a sheet of paper, place it against the window facing outwards, and that way the the attendant will know that you haven't overstayed your allotted time. "But what if I just write a time…
It's been a while since I wrote. A whole month has passed. There was some anxiety closer to the NT Scan when I started bleeding a little. Nothing to worry, baby is doing well. We made a baby announcement. Was happy to share this news with the world. Almost 15 weeks pregnant now. A long way to go, but have also come a…
Pitchfork is too obsessed with lyrics. They’re analyzing music the way people should be analyzing books. They’re talking about world-building and themes. Idk I feel like music is an experience to be felt and explained rather than analyzed
i hate how much i loved your laugh. i hate how lonely all of this growth feels. i hate that you never celebrated my hard work. i hate that i tried. i hate that i loved your car. i hate that i loved every bit of that part of you that made me hate myself. i hate that i stayed. i hate that i waited while your mouth…
ahh this week i have been further using some AI text prompt to image generator tools in attempt to create an image that has a living quality. the cover image starts to show signs of life; the sphere eroding and green moss-like texture on the surface. the eroding texture bleeds up the image and begins to blur away due…
‘Indian Matchmaking’ and ‘A Suitable Girl’ have much in common: producer Smriti Mundhra, match-maker Sima Taparia, and an overwhelming display of complex but problematic routines and notions around arranged marriage. Yet, one is cringe (but binge-worthy), while the other is deeply unsettling. The difference in…
In order of least to most dangerous: 1) People who are openly driven by ambition and self-interest to amass wealth and power 2) People who are secretly driven by ambition and self-interest to amass wealth and power while publicly professing noble intentions to benefit the public 3) People who actually believe they are…
Some of the best ideas are from someone else. In my two years of journaling daily, I’ve been open to trying new prompts. Some prompts are keepers. Others don’t last. My format came from many sources. I journal in the morning and evening. My morning routine, in the order I adopted them into the format. Gratitude - Two…
I have three weeks until the first day of school, and the teaching dreams have already started. I don't mean aspirations and hopes kind of dreams; I mean REM sleep dreams. These dreams follow a predictable, yet challenging, pattern. A disruptive and defiant student is acting out, and it's severe enough that it must be…
Fear of the future Fear of the past Never living Meaning Love Regret Always hoping Fear of losing Fear of the unknown
a little bummed that the sun goes down at 5:30 and at 6:00 it feels like midnight i like the night but still it is far too early to feel like i have to start cooking... i'm starting to like poetry (thanks, sylvia plath) also i am no longer afraid that i won't have time to read all the books i want to read i am now…
Ontem a minha dog retirou os pontos da cirurgia de retirada de todas as mamas do lado direito. Não sem resistir, chorar, gritar, querer morder todo mundo na sala. E não sem eu brigar com o veterinário bruto que acha que pode falar que a cachorra é dramática. Puxa sua pele com uma pinça e passe a tesoura numa área…
i am thinking of writing fan letters to my favorite authors. what do you think? i'm thinking of specifically: - megan boyle - i would like to say: i love your sense of humor, i love that you expanded my beliefs about what a "book" is and opened my tiny tiny mind up to the world of possibilities - jordan castro - a…
I feel sadness I feel blocked I feel stupid What are the thoughts producing these feelings? - There's so much to do. - There are so many unknowns. - My words don't always make sense. - Am I actually bringing value to this world?
It finally happened. I dipped my pen nib into my morning coffee. Should have put a lid on the cup. Can't dip in the wrong container if there's a lid over one of the liquids. Another drawback to drinking coffee black; out of the corner of your eye, it looks like your ink. One of those moments you figured would…
Digital screens are replacing mechanical switches in more and more places—from your car to your thermostat. It is certainly more modern. But is it more effective? I noticed a stark difference in ease of use when apartment maintenance came around to replace our analog thermostat, the circle kind that you twist to set…
When I came back home, I naturally established a routine. I would wake up when my body wanted to (around 8 to 9 am), make breakfast, and study. After that, I would go out if needed or have lunch at home, then study again and go for a run (if it was a workout day). In the evening, after dinner, I would sit down with my…
Sabe, eu odeio as obrigações. Tem que fazer isso, tem que fazer aquilo, blablabla. Numa dessas, melhor dizendo, numas dessas, eu sempre acabo em uma espécie de pocket burnout onde fujo pro banheiro com zumbido no ouvido e enxaqueca intensa. Não acho que seja crise de ansiedade e sim uma grande dificuldade em interagir…
The world of crypto has been rocked (yet again) with the FTX news. Weirdly enough, Meta also announced that they were laying off 11,000 employees today (the bottom?). The whole FTX saga unfolded really fast - just a few days - and that's what I find fascinating. One might view this as bad since FTX was a pretty large…
You might be sitting at a restaurant with a friend. The check comes, and your dining partner reaches for his wallet. "No, no," you kindly remind him, "it's my turn." This reciprocal gesture may be well-intentioned, but it immediately triggers a sense of disappointment bordering on offense. "Don't turn this into a…
Sick infants cry, some sick infants have increased respiratory rate. Assessment of respiratory rate is important for identifying the disease and assessing the general wellness of the child. This is pretty difficult to do when the infant is crying. This led me to wonder if the rate of vocalising?/phonation? while…
Im normally used to have a routine that is very stable, not much going on, but this past 2 weeks have been very intense for me, from events, meeting people, moving and figuring out this this country I have been picking up very bad habits cause I have so many things I want and need to fit in my schedule. Now I realize…
This morning, I realized that we're already more than halfway through the year. It's crazy how quickly time passes, and each year it only seems to accelerate. As children, a single school year or a summer break felt like an eternity. Now, days and months slip by in the blink of an eye. Casey Neistat brilliantly…
It’s an intellectual behaviour of knowing how to continue the conversation & joke Speaking to K - or asking for something: is also a skill Should say G is a very talented guy, very hardworking - say some praise word before bringing it up. This is the world of persuasion and business You can’t just ask and give. You…
Friendships, like any other relationships, are supposed to be mutual—mutual understanding and mutual effort. There should be a balance to it, just like any other aspect of life. When a friendship is one-sided, it can lead to unhealthy feelings of resentment or exhaustion. Eventually on the long run, you can get tired…
The Idea or the Thing, which one you value more or look at it the opposite way which will you regret more? missing the idea: I never think of falling in love with you Or miss the thing: I think I have fallen in love with you Now I wonder what it would be like If we had fallen in love together
Maybe there’s more way to go about it. Why I feel anxious when something is not going my way - is because I was not used to acting or behaving this way. Too much of my own comfort zone. So to not feel anxious - be comfortable in feeling uncomfortable. Know that you’ll fail no matter what in the first place and it’s…
Back in India, I read an article called "Travel is no cure for the mind" [https://moretothat.com/travel-is-no-cure-for-the-mind/]. It illustrated how changing your surroundings is not the answer to existential angst or the pursuit of joy and fulfillment in life. And while the article covered sufficient ground…
I lay on the mat staring up at the kaleidoscopic reflections on the ceiling. I pictured the next thing I could do at that moment. I pictured an event that could follow that, and another to follow that, and I whizzed around and around until I caught myself, and I realized I was Telescoping. In the next few moments, I…
