Uncertainty.

I'm terrified of this one word.
It's just one word but contains an unknown universe within.
A universe that I am part of, that I live in, yet that which I want to get out of.
I was born into this realm and I continue to live within this reality.
Even death does not seem to be a meaningful escape from this multiverse of madness.
It is knowing that you will never know, understanding that you will not fully understand.
It forces you to let go; of control, of sanity, of power, of doubt, of life itself.
But this is precisely the turning point, the fork in the road.
When I have to let go.
But I have a choice: To keep holding on,
Or
TO LET GOD.
To allow Him into my uncertainty.
To grant Him access to the depths of my doubts.
To permit Him to rebuild the foundations of my faith.
To trust Him completely so that He becomes my certainty.
Uncertainty does not cease to exist still.
But I am now at peace.
At peace with uncertainty.
At peace with not knowing.
At peace with not understanding fully.
At peace even amidst the storm that rages within.
Uncertainty cannot shake me anymore.

• Inspired by the Holy Spirit