a button

there was a study with mice where "the mice have a lever that they can press any time they want. When they press the button, a special optical sensor, which controls specific neurons in their brain, activates their dopamine neurons"

anyway they pressed the button until they died with no desire of food or drink

if there was a button that i could press repeatedly.........it would be the button to laugh

i want to laugh until i die

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is it a merciful thing what the researchers did to the mice?

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for the past few days we've been working on so many boat tasks and there were some newcomers to the marina and we hung out with them and we also had taco night w our friends and played board games until 2:30am (we hung out with them for 7 hours straight)

i swear i could've kept playing until i died

and i haven't had time for my introverted activities--but i've found a category of boat tasks that allows me to be introverted to some degree [the ones where i can work on something without having to think too hard, with headphones on--i've been laughing real hard at my fav podcast]

i miss my solo activities for the activities themselves but i somehow don't feel drained acting so extroverted (i just wish i could sleep a little more!! i want to nap!!)

i think i have brain damage of some sort.

my short term memory is terrible and i can't keep track of what people are saying when it comes to boat mechanics (but everyone else gets it) and i can't even remember game rules of simple games.

but i'm really good at grasping abstract ideas.