5. Why does sleeping decide my loyalty?

It has occurred to me several times in the past. I feel like expressing it to a friend of the opposite gender. It is the feeling of polyamory - it is not about just sex, it is about having conversations, it is about being available to listen and share with each other. I felt like calling the friend and asking to meet at a public space where we can listen and talk to each other, unfiltered, uninhibited by fear of being judged.

There is also a fear of carrying the burden of another relationship. Will the quest to be free from the shackles of a monogamy end with another relationship? What if not, do I have the capacity to look for another one?

Why should my commitment be decided by whom I share my intimacy with? Isn't standing with my spouse at every step more important than sleeping? Am I not sharing my friendship with others? Isn't that sharing of love? Why does monogamy decide loyalty? Isn't being emotionally available more important than whom I spend my moments with?