Gathering thoughts…
Obviously not this one. There's a lot of rambling in my head too, like now. But because these are ramblings, do they matter? Are they worth thinking at all? Should they be shared?
Where do our limits lie in thoughts?
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I realized today that, it's entirely possible for my work to be tracking my every movement. When I open my laptop, when I'm idle, when I clock out - everything is checked. If they looked, they'd see how much time I waste thinking, doing my work outside the device they track me on. I wonder if in those moments, they too, look for me. Regardless, I should've been more…
I tell myself as I count down the minutes to 10:49am. In the middle of work, in the middle of a life I should be focusing on. "15 minutes of thought," I say - and I attempt to figure them out right here. I'm overwhelmed by own lies (of secretly working on a task I don't like doing, of pretending to work on things I don't actually like doing, of acting as though this life is…
Sorry. I admit it's tough to 'accept' you into the spaces I frequent. Some of you I've muted, some I've just outright not talked to... and it's not really anything you did, I just personally don't want to be involved in your life anymore. Wherever you're going is not where I'll be. I'm happy for you, but we're just not heading in the same path, and looking at yours somehow…
I'm kind of tired seeing people sharing unsolicited advice about growth, productivity, finance - all of these things that supposedly make you successful. My definition of "success" is so different from those in my surroundings now, but... it feels so strange to leave so fast when this is all I've known, too. But I think of leaving all the time. I dream of eventually having…
