Feb 5, 2025

15 minutes of thought

I tell myself as I count down the minutes to 10:49am. In the middle of work, in the middle of a life I should be focusing on. "15 minutes of thought," I say - and I attempt to figure them out right here.

I'm overwhelmed by own lies (of secretly working on a task I don't like doing, of pretending to work on things I don't actually like doing, of acting as though this life is for me).

I think I'm just trying to escape - dreaming of a life where I do what makes me happy, immaturely refusing the work that sustains. The jobs I feel right to do isn't so well-known yet, not even suited to the worlds I've been in. Believing I'm meant to be on my own is my personal lie - because I wish I felt like I belong. I haven't found that space, and truthfully I'm still too busy surviving to get there.

Maybe I'm not meant for my dreams. Maybe my life is meant to be spent waiting for something to happen. Meant to be worked to the bone until something does.

I'm overwhelmed by myself and my mistakes. My wrong choices that led to my unhappiness. The desperation I've locked myself into. A cycle I only continue doing.

If I change the way I talk to myself, would things change?

Diana Wrights

Taking a gamble on thoughts ☁︎

More from Diana

Oct 11, 2026

I love my job, and yet I fear it.

I realized today that, it's entirely possible for my work to be tracking my every movement. When I open my laptop, when I'm idle, when I clock out - everything is checked. If they looked, they'd see how much time I waste thinking, doing my work outside the device they track me on. I wonder if in those moments, they too, look for me. Regardless, I should've been more…

Jan 1, 2023

I hate totally forgetting my thoughts as I write them.

Obviously not this one. There's a lot of rambling in my head too, like now. But because these are ramblings, do they matter? Are they worth thinking at all? Should they be shared? Where do our limits lie in thoughts?

Dec 18, 2022

To some of you old friends & colleagues: I don't want to accept your friend requests anymore

Sorry. I admit it's tough to 'accept' you into the spaces I frequent. Some of you I've muted, some I've just outright not talked to... and it's not really anything you did, I just personally don't want to be involved in your life anymore. Wherever you're going is not where I'll be. I'm happy for you, but we're just not heading in the same path, and looking at yours somehow…

Nov 29, 2022

I think of leaving all the time.

I'm kind of tired seeing people sharing unsolicited advice about growth, productivity, finance - all of these things that supposedly make you successful. My definition of "success" is so different from those in my surroundings now, but... it feels so strange to leave so fast when this is all I've known, too. But I think of leaving all the time. I dream of eventually having…

A little more from Diana.

More from Diana

I love my job, and yet I fear it.

I hate totally forgetting my thoughts as I write them.

To *some* of you old friends & colleagues: I don't want to accept your friend requests anymore

I think of leaving all the time.

More from Diana

I love my job, and yet I fear it.

I hate totally forgetting my thoughts as I write them.

To *some* of you old friends & colleagues: I don't want to accept your friend requests anymore

I think of leaving all the time.

To some of you old friends & colleagues: I don't want to accept your friend requests anymore

To some of you old friends & colleagues: I don't want to accept your friend requests anymore