Boy, that was fast
I was sifting through my social media accounts this morning. Several of my tweets or posts felt like they had been posted a few hours ago. I was recalling my thought process behind each post. How much time I took. How 'important' they felt. How they reflected my mindset and experiences at that particular moment. Again, I felt like they were posted only a few hours ago.
The timestamp, however, told me they had been shard 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, or more ago.
I am struck by how fast time has gone by. I am painfully aware of my lack of attention.
Some questions:
- How has 6 months has felt like two hours?
- How have days/weeks/months/years in my life that have seemingly slipped by?
- Where is my attention going?
- What does this mean to me?
I am aware of my finitude. It is the source of my deepest fears and anxieties. In 5 years time, how I will examine today? In 10 years time, what will matter? In 31 years time (double my current age), how will I know I have become who I intended to become?
These are questions I have been wrestling with for years. They leave me feeling quite crippled, if I'm honest. Afraid to make a move out of fear it is the wrong one. Frozen. Stuck. (Insert any word that makes me feel like I can't move).
There are 70 days until 2023. Will I pay any attention?
295 days have occurred in 2022. Boy, that was fast.