why do i have to be on my own?
i remember going to war once. the air smelled of burnt flowers and chemical dreams. the ghosts of my past made a mountain of bodies besides a wrecked house.
inside, my mother was wiping off her tears as she made my favorite breakfast. father was dreaming of his aged self.
you're on your own, soldier.
just a few more miles.
it took me 7 seasons to reach the sea. the water was black. the sand pricked my skin. i bled as i walked on water.
it took me an ocean to realise that i was going where i started.
how do you fight a war you're doomed to lose? it claws your insides.
you're on your own, soldier.
just a few more miles.
everytime i passed by my house, i saw myself dancing. then i was crying among my books. there, i was telling him i loved him. then i was begging. then i fought for breath. then i got maa that sari. then i made dad laugh and one day the house was empty.
it took me 11 years to stand infront of my home and knock. i heard maa and my heart leaped. i haven't seen her smile in ages.
dad sat in his jeep in the garage, fixing the gear box. its dirty green has faded to a rusty yellow.
i entered my room to find myself unconscious on the bed.
"wake up, soldier."