Unpleasant but comfortable
A few days into this exercise of writing daily, I've had a few learnings -
I feel most of my decisions that switched things around have been spontaneous. It was the case with taking up this daily writing challenge too. I didn't have topics in mind.
I refrain from writing about the things I come across online throughout the day. I enjoy catching thoughts as if I'm fishing.
My mind is the river, and I write as if I'm using a fishing pole. I won't have an assured catch which I could've if I used a fishing net (ideas sourced online).
Most days after writing, I don't feel satisfied with the output. You'd argue that could be because I am not planning well in advance or spending time on research and so on. You could be right too.
But the muscle I'm working to build here is the comfort with unpleasant output. At the start of getting good at a skill, it is a disservice to myself if I'm not willing to be the absolute shit or be regarded as such.
In the wake of "being noticed" via social media, our ability to share only the polished output has built a strange vacuum. We don't see what goes into creating it. We don't witness the fumbling.
It creates extremely unhelpful notions about how anyone becomes good at something. Our attachment to online identity and the street cred it promises forces us to project a fictitious ideal of ourselves.
My goal is to get comfortable with however messy this gets. I want to be more aware of my capability than feeling bothered by the scrutiny of other people.
Essentially, I am working against all "should-be's." So, regardless of the output I'm committed to figuring out what switches.