On not trying to prove anything

I noticed a thing about myself a couple of times - I go into the "I'll prove I am worthy of this" mode too soon.

It is a pretty natural reaction to feeling rejected or challenged. I guess some of it also comes from a childhood where quite a bit of validation came from achievement.

On most counts that need to prove is a great enabler to become excellent but I think it just has you barking up the wrong tree. The need to prove your worth drags you into keeping up pretences.

Like, say you were hired for Task A but couldn’t quite deliver, so you were moved to Task B. If you then spend all your time obsessively trying to “fix” or overcompensate for Task A just to feel worthy again, you’re reinforcing an external validation loop. And probably exhausting yourself in the process.

Whereas your time and energy could be best spent on doing the second task.

It took me a while to learn that. Maybe this is one of those recurring lessons - cut your losses faster.

There is always a chance to go back later and figure out what could be done differently but in the aftermath of being challenged or rejected it is best to not spend anytime trying to prove otherwise. Feel challenged, get rejected and go back to whatever else you can do.

Said differently- Move fast, break things.

I guess I sound like your average twitter bro/gal in BLR but there's quite a bit of wisdom packed in those four words.