Thinking in yets

We love conclusions.

Conclusions lend certainty to identity, relationships, and thought experiments. For instance, soon after a conversation, we are quick to think,"Oh this person is cool."

Even with thought experiments we shade the experiment with what we know to be true from our experience.

Let's say if someone asks you,"where do you see yourself five years from now."

Your answers are most likely to reflect things around career progress, life achievements and so on. At times, even if you're imaginative in thought you police yourself to not express it.

You might want to say, "I don't think that far" but you will restrain from being so honest because it could mean losing that job or interview. You police yourself because you come across unambitious. It's not the right thing to be "that" honest.

And I find that amusing because we constantly want people to think of and thrive in ambiguous situations but reward them for being certain. Being certain of something or someone is valued because it makes decision-making easier.

But enforcing that certainty can come at a huge personal cost.

You start applying that certainty to who you are as a person.
You stop exploring your personhood. It limits your thinking to what is "practical."

Quite often, though, what you are capable of may not be practical but it is possible. But then you suppress what's possible because it will take work.

You will have to start from scratch, and the practical work you've done so far will feel like a waste of time. Think of the career choices you make or the genre of music you listen to or when you're rethinking a relationship.

You're stuck in conclusions. A useful way to not be stuck is to think in yets.

This isn't my best essay, yet. Geddit?