Retrospective Parenting

We quote Steve Jobs a lot on how we can connect the dots looking backward. To pick and choose parts we remember well to craft a narrative that we call our story, in a way that makes sense.

Retrospective parenting is what I call consoling the kid who got hurt years ago. To make sense of the hurt that hasn't healed. Harsh words that left paper cuts to purple-black bruises. Metaphorically.

RP is being the parent that I needed. By parent, I mean someone who would soothe wounds and always say the comforting thing. "Parents" can be a fictional character, a stranger on the internet, or even the adult you. Which I was. To and for myself. Because I sometimes needed and had to be to make sense of why a certain word would trigger tears or a certain tone would cause my shoulders to tense up. Or why a certain architectural feature would cause my body to shut down.

It's been a joy, and an unnecessary yet necessary journey to retrospectively parent myself.