It's cool. We can still be friends, right?

I spoke with a friend who had recently written off some friends when they were unwilling to engage in debate and acknowledge what he had to say.

In one instance, I recall that he had taken the time to write a well constructed and well thought out email concerning a hot button topic. In response, he was dismissed and trolled by a couple of friends on the thread. He was hurt. He wanted to impart some experience and knowledge on a subject and was given low-effort responses that were objectively disrespectful. I empathize. With both sides.

So what? Tonight I was explaining a similar situation and he said that I am free to cut people out of my life, that "[I] didn't owe them anything." Perhaps he is correct in an absolutist sense, however I don't think this is a helpful attitude.

My take is that I owe folks simple human kindness, and to remain friends as long as they will have me. What I have found is that regardless of my ambition or getting what I want, any response I receive is a gift.

In my case, the targets of my attempt to "selflessly inform" are not interested in what I have to say and they have closed their minds to anything that may cause them to question their world model and view. What a gift! I can completely short-circuit any future attempts to change their minds and I can meet them where they are. Lesson learned.

The other gift is the opportunity to grow spiritually and not let folks get under my skin. By asking "what can I learn from this experience?" I receive a gift of spiritual growth, rather than my original intent which would have been the gift of feeding my ego.