i think nicheless is the place

i think nicheless is the place where i slowly give shape to my becoming of a writer. see, all these years i have struggled to find my authentic voice. i have always found myself impersonating the style of the grandiose writers, philosophers or poets - depending upon whom i read last. there may have been elements of my originality within but largely, when i read them after some time, some sound cringeworthy, others sound very flattering and few pieces sound really good. search of the authentic voice gets very cloudy and occluded when you are conscious of the Peering Eyes. i needed a dead place like nicheless, where i have no one but me and my voice having a conversation. i don't know whether when arundhati roy write she imagines an audience she's speaking to (possible in case of non-fiction) or simply escapes to a Room Of Her Own and writes stories there.

i'll find my way here, unwary of anyone. i may even become consistent with my writing here. while my tiny little dreams of becoming a writer (like a writer writer) has been awash on waves of social brutalities, i think it has gone dormant, waiting for spring of the heart to sprout again. it's there, and i think it's one of the few things that keep me living. like someone's waiting for you at home so you keep pushing through the tiring journey.

i am a radical believer in the orchard at the end of this warzone, otherwise there would be no sense to bearing all this crap.

bless our hearts ♥️