How petty are you?

Quite often, I hesitate to acknowledge my pettiness.

For instance, I took up this writing challenge for the month but have had days when I didn't publish.

I missed writing the piece for a total of six days. Of the six, on two days, I hit publish without adding any content because I wanted it to seem regular. How petty, right?

I didn't have to do that. But would you look at the extent I go to avoid feeling petty? Almost as if I am performing, and someone will call me out for being irregular.

But on four out of the six days, I was honest. I acknowledged the slack and committed to fixing it.

But while communicating with people, I continue avoiding expressing my petty feelings.

I want to seem smart, more mature and evolved. How unnecessary, right?

Now, if I watch a few reels on Instagram, there will be content to help make sense of why I do this. Commonly cited reasons for it would be a traumatic event, a difficult past, or parental shortcomings.

But I am not interested in diagnosing it. I think becoming aware or acknowledging the behavior does half the job.

Acknowledging any behavior helps one think of it more objectively.

I think of my pettiness as an avoidable reaction to the event. But that is a value judgment, and it burdens free expression.

Regardless of how shameful, fearful, or judged one feels, acknowledging the pettiness is better. It makes feeling weakly bearable.

Isn't it better to feel weak rather than put up some performance of an evolved version of oneself?

I'd say lose the whole charade, go out there be fully petty. Make it your personality. Have you noticed how cats and kids are constantly petty, and we adore them for it?