Gratitude is an action

A spiritual advisor said "gratitude is an action."

So as we send text messages and, for the special ones, phone calls of gratitude to those in our life, it is time for me to reflect on how I display gratitude, rather that a simple admission of being "thankful."

To my wife and family, I am grateful.
She has a full time job and does much of the child rearing. She brings the plans and I do my best to execute the strategies. Are we on the same page? Am I merely "thankful" for what she does or am I grateful? If I were a defendant on trial for "showing gratitude to my wife" is there any evidence of this? I can support her around the ask her about her day, and listen with sincerity. I can shut off the cellphone or the football game and be present with her. I can do the dishes and pick up around the house without keeping score and I can buy her flowers more than once a year.
I can let me kids be kids. I don't need to mold them in my image -- I don't need to "protect" them from life. And I don't need to correct them because "father knows best."

To my friends and neighbors, I am grateful.
I could make voice phone calls to check in on them, even when I am not interested in having a chat. I needn't call people only when I am lonely. In fact, I need to call people especially when I am not lonely, Lord knows, my friend might need a friend! How can I lighten his burden? Do I give him space to talk without trying to find an answer to his problems? I can just be a friend.