Decadent - The Last Man
You are a coward. You know it. You have to grow out of it. You celebrate the downfall of others, then you celebrate your victory. It is your mistake. You have to grow out of it. You can never win like this. You want to be kind, but you cannot.
You are mean. You liked her. You want to be with her, you want to win. But if she were okay with that, you would not have valued her. With the current lifestyle you have, you don't value anything.
You want a lifestyle. You want to be something. You cannot be that person. You have to take it, whatever it might be. Once you digest the fact that you are nothing, your current self is nothing, then only you can grow.
The hubris is at an all-time high. You want to be the person everyone thinks is the smartest, but deep down you know you are not. You don't want people to know that, so you do things which others can see as you being better than them.
Standing up for yourself, you started giving up. You gave up on everything. You are the last decadent man. You have proved yourself. He thinks he is better than everyone, but in reality, he is nothing. He thinks he is metaphysical, but in reality, he is a fool.