A good gift

Giving a gift or receiving one is so complex, right? One never quite knows what someone would like.

We're grappling with how useful, grand, meaningful, or liked a gift will be.

The anxiety around a good gift never ends because, for the one giving, it is a matter of 'how well did I do?'. For the one receiving it, there is an unavoidable pressure to respond.

Both overcompensate to a certain extent.

But there is one thing for sure, regardless of how sloppy a gift-er you may be, a site recommending gifts will not be as helpful.

I feel it is so because the moment we reduce the gift to an obligation - a transactional exchange - its essence is lost. Think of the uncreative and repetitive return gifts you got after a birthday party.

Also, think about when you loved a gift someone gave and cherished it for a long time. You felt remembered by the person.

It felt as if they remembered some story, some information, or just something they saw you struggle with and gifted you something to acknowledge the memory. The gift said, 'this made me think of you.'

A good gift, essentially, has nothing to do with an object or an experience. A good gift only has to make the receiver feel that the giver genuinely thought about them. The emphasis is on genuine.

Most of us lack the energy to be genuine. We, therefore, land up with gifts that don't feel good while giving. There is a hint of indifference.

We care enough to give a gift but not really. We think the occasion demands it. Again, obligated.

A question to ask yourself if you'd like to gift genuinely is, 'Does gifting this make me happy?'

If yes, it is likely a good gift.