why does anyone blog?
i mean, why not just write it in a private journal? or go the other way and book-publish all your thoughts?
just look at sheila heti, publishing a catalogue of thoughts from her diary alphabetized from a-z
(she is so busy that she can't even organize them by theme
NOT TO BORROW SCHOPENHAUER'S IDEAS LEST HE CALL ME A MORON INCAPABLE OF MY OWN THINKING but what use is a bunch of disorganized thoughts?)
but back to the main question:
why do i blog?
does it feel good thinking someone might be reading? (yes)
does it make me feel less lonely? (yes)
does it make me think that i'm giving someone a chance to discuss with me? (yes)
is this the equivalent of sending out flairs while i'm stranded on an island?
imagine that someone comes to discuss with me, then what?
then possibly everything!
like i asked a girl if she likes people
she said yes
i said lol why
she said idk i just enjoy them
the word "enjoy" just unlocked all of the secrets for me
enjoying people...
yes...it rings a bell i'm starting to recall something...
i enjoy people too
now when you put it that way it clears up everything for me
thinking about friendship and relationships i thought (too much) about rules and expectations and "what it ought to entail"
but enjoyment is something i can understand
you can enjoy people you graze by in daily life
one person i enjoyed:
an italian man in mcdonalds -- not an employee -- who smiled and laughed in an embarrassed way and lifted our tray for us to reveal that yes, we had been given TWO trays! and that i didn't need to eat my happy meal on the table
what a gracious figure