#102: Why am I getting bored?

This is not a post where I tell you that getting bored is good and all. But to see why actually am I getting bored!

I just said that I've been working as an Intern for the past 9 months, and yet when my room mate is not around, it seems that I don't have anything to do apart from work.

My room mate does not make a difference in me being bored, because we eventually start scrolling Insta and bomb each other with dark memes and reels.

Why don't I find any amusement in scrolling or sending memes when I'm alone? I know that I think I don't need no one to live and can survive on my own!

But the thing is - I don't want to survive when I can live normally!

I don't need to romanticise solitude and loneliness and yet I do by advertising that I need don't need someone to live normally.

Hell, I'm even aware of what I do. And yet I still do what I do: Romanticising!

I know why's that but I won't do anything about it. Because it's what looks cool on males. Having a mysterious aura around them. Being alone makes a man look cool.

And for the same reason, I also advertise solitude as a characteristic of my own. Since I want to be seen alone, others don't approach me with things to do in that respect. And since I don't have things to do on my own or of my own (most of the time), I feel bored.

What I came across while writing this paragraph is that, I have created my own boredom in order to maintain a front of cool guy, which I am not!

Expressing myself suits me better as a man!