Where did it go?

Today, I had a really nice Zen day. I'm in Crestone, CO visiting for a month. I enjoyed the mountain view and the local library, where I read a book about stillness and being present in your moment.

Last night, I contacted our Airbnb host to ask about why my trash had not been picked up. The response kicked me out of my zen mode.

I found it quite fascinating. I felt my body tense up, and defensive and offended thoughts rise up.

What happened to my inner peace? What happened to just accepting and embracing the present moment? I have been practicing just accepting and even inviting the sucky "50%" of life. But THIS time my ego was not having it.

For the record I would like to list out all the thoughts that were presented:

• I know placed the trash in the "right" spot.
• The trash people are lazy.
• My host should have my back instead of blaming me for this event.
• I should have been given better instructions if the trash people here behave unexpectedly if the trash is not in the exact location they want it.

Looking at these with compassion and awareness, I don't think any of these are very important. Now I will list out items I do know for sure:

• I am intact
• My "image" or "self" has not been damaged.
• I am still Amy.
• I still have air to breath.
• My body works and responds.
• I am.

This was a lovely awareness/writing moment. Now I will transition to the next...