RPWF Week 3: The Unknown (part 2)
Something of vanilla, bourbon, and lingering notes of all the versions of you that lived in this cloth.
Yesterday, I thought it was over. I'm not quite sure what happened, I must have been too consumed with all of you that I felt within the coat that I didn't even notice the button, second from the top, loosen between my fingertips. I heard a quiet tap as it fell to the sidewalk, and with it I heard the end of us. The end of friendly encounters by the lunch counter, the end of giggles and gossip about the latest work drama, the end of that soft look in your eyes that gets me dangerously close to surrendering myself to you. I walked up to you, bracing myself for the daggers of regret and disappointment from your gaze, but when you looked up at me, it was anything but. I felt my racing heart slow as you placed the button back in my palm, moist with sweat. I can’t tell if you were simply sparing my feelings or if you were telling the truth when you said that you had been meaning to change the buttons on the jacket anyways.
You offered to grab dinner with me tonight. As I sit on the train approaching you, the button from your coat remains in my pocket. I find myself feeling upon the smooth wooden grooves of it, reminded of your willingness to care for me. It feels foolish to think this could ever be something but whatever energy of yours remaining in this button has emboldened me. I think tonight, I will take a chance and allow a new love to take space within me. One that is honest, true, and different. One that makes the world feel a bit more safe.