New provisory gym and the self awareness

Amazing how a simple thing like going to a new gym can cause such a torrent of thoughts in my mind.

During the Holidays and the worst of the winter, many gyms, included the one I go, work reduced hours and/or not opening in the weekends. Clients are invited to use the network and go to the ones that remain with regular hours. They are usually bigger and in downtown/center areas. So I went to try one in the third floor of a large retail center.

I felt surveilled. Watched. Conscious all the time of my intrusiveness in that space while checking how machines are displayed and work. I know that nobody there was paying attention in my behaviour or in myself and, for them, I'm just another regular costumer in that big place. But I didn't feel that. I felt strangeness.

I paid attention to the clothes the guys were wearing. Before entering in a room, first I looked around trying to find someone known. Even during the exercises I was checking what other people were doing or/ if someone was checking me out.

Such a strange feeling: Inadequacy.

My usual gym is a neighbour outlet, so the clientele is, well, my neighbours (including trainers and staff), but mostly teenagers, students and retirees. Besides one or another more dedicated lifter, most of us are regular people that you see in the supermarket, on the bus or just walking on the streets. You always talk to someone during a session.

In the other hand, in the big gym, big guys. Very fit women, weirdly beautiful. Expensive, branded clothes. Headphones all over. Gel/wax in the hair. Short shorts. Tank tops kind of compulsory. Young professionals in their 30's, mostly. No talking.

In resume: another world.