megan boyle

i love megan boyle in ways i can never love a person i meet in "real life" because she exists in words in books and articles that i can choose to pick up and put down -- she doesn't require "live" response

and it is an honest relationship in which i do not have to pretend to enjoy anything

so if she's really into something and i'm not, i don't have to feign excitement or approval with smiles and nods

which i do have to do with girls i meet in real life -- girls are so fragile

i'm watching megan boyle for the first time on video and she is so different than i imagined...she comes across as way more of a "real writer" than i thought...she seems quite "normal" too; not at all whacky like her posts -- but her reactions are likely influenced by the interviewer. i also find it IMPOSSIBLE to be truly myself in front of MOST PEOPLE. they make me feel uncomfortable and nervous

but i like her a lot anyway

sometimes i think maybe she saved my life. but also proust and hua hsu and michelle zauner and brian weiss and mulk raj anand and nietzsche saved my life.