i love people who love things

and who teach me how to love things

i met a girl who loves to cook and garden and by hanging out with her, or maybe by cooking with her, i grew to LOVE cooking

and just hearing her talk about gardening made me love gardening more

i had a friend in hs who was an Arts & Culture Self-Guided Exploration Master and she would find shows and movies and games and music and internet culture all on her own that nobody in school knew about (but that weren't exactly "indie" either) and she seemed to have a vast list of fun things to do

i think she continues to inspires me -- just seeing how much fun she had, i knew that that amount of fun was possible for me too, doing a similar type of thing (but i definitely prefer all things indie)

i love people who deeply enjoy things. i love books that talk about deeply enjoying things. i love the anti-cynics who can get excited about things.

when i remember a person i remember by how much they taught me to love.

and that's why i kept thinking about one of my exes, i think. because he taught me to deeply love thinking.

thinking is something that burdens many other people but for me it is a joy. it gives me energy. and he taught me about that, i think. he and our friend, we all loved that.

and that's why i keep remembering my hs crush too. because he deeply loved music and created his own music and had a project where he tried to listen to like 500 of the most acclaimed albums ever made or something to give himself a sort of musical education. i love people like that. i hate lukewarmies.