exploration mode
i'm looking for something
i realized that i write to solve my problems and find clarity
but since my problem is quite large now, i'm gathering much concentration and this is all i think about. i've been asking all my friends.
i'm trying to solve something that no one has ever solved.
but if the answer is out there, then i think i just need to search
WHAT AM I TRYING TO ANSWER?
how can i look forward to anything again having already experienced so much pleasure and love in life?
everyone feels that way i reckon
everyone with a normal life trajectory thinks that 17-23 was their happiest time
so i'm learning how to explore
i'm exploring books and music
i think books and music are fractals of life
finding a new favorite book or a new favorite song, or just getting acquainted with new books and music...is training me for something...
it's helping me regain what i had at 17-23 i think
hell, it's what led up to 17-23
i was listening to led zeppelin and animal collective and reading gone with the wind ; and i spent significant brain cells on music/gone with the wind/my one and only hs crush
(right now i feel like i have a crush on all my friends and matt healy and tamino and the sailors HAHAHAHA)
if i could make a wish that has nothing to do with reminiscing about the past, then i wish that i could sing a duet with tamino and matt healy
musical duets are as good as sex, if not better.