Being okay with not being okay

Being okay with not being okay.

Contradiction? Kinda. Really it’s different layers. Maybe you’re not okay at one level, but if the higher level is okay with it, then on the whole, you’ll feel okay.

Maybe your bank account is zero. Is that a problem? Yes of course, but an equally correct answer is: Only if you treat it as one.

Maybe your leg hurts. Is that a problem? Well I dunno, I’ve heard stories of people without legs being perfectly happy.

Maybe you’re grieving a loss. Is that a problem? Only if you think of grief as unwelcome.

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What is happening here?

Part of this boils down to faith: A belief that things can be alright. That your world view is essentially constructed and mutable. Sometimes, in some ways, this can be seen experientially — meditation, emotional work, etc.

But there’s some key skills here:

• Ability to recognize, step back and pull yourself out of a broken world view
• A mental motion of recognizing a sensation as not-self, which makes it malleable and introspectable.
• A willingness to hurt more in search of truth and clearer thinking
• Figuring out which direction is a useful one to abstract into

When this is successful, what feels like the end of the world will still feel like the end of the world, just not your world. Which means you’re not frozen, and can work with it, and understand it.