a kind of kind sociopath
when i read my old writing i think i was kind of a sociopath but then i also see how deeply moved i was/am about homeless people and people with Special Needs
i care about homeless people w/ special needs more than i care about most "normal" people
"normal" people are kind of evil in my eyes
sailing has restored my faith in aspects of humanity because sailors are Good People but it's so hard to find Good People outside of sailing
actually here's the thing:
i think most "normal" people are psychopaths
they have no sensitivity and there is nothing soft and lovable about them
and they think thoughts like "money i want money and fuck people who have less money than me i don't care; i want to show people that i have more money than them haha look at my purse look at my dinner look at my house look at my car haha look at this vacation i was on and all the sights i saw haha you poor pathetic little fuck i hate you you dumb poor person"
and they're so spiritually impoverished
one of the softest people i've met is a little boy i worked with in the psych hospital. he said that he tried to kill himself after his cousin died, so that he can go find her on the other side
you know? soft people
soft people are the only ones i can manage to care about
regarding psychopaths, i act like a full-on sociopath
regarding soft people, i am doing my best to make them feel cozy and happy and i hope i manage to a degree.