What feels different this decade.
In my 4th decade I realize that 40s is the real inflection point in our lives - few reflections.
- Curiosity: Whether getting lost in encyclopedia during my younger days to now reading up about cars. Somewhere during the Social Media era, my curiosity had become perfomative, I caught this bug of sounding knowledgeable more than enjoying learning itself - but realizing this tendency of mine has helped me deliberately practice restraint to get back to my core.
- Vanity: I used to be very insecure about how I look, specially my scars. Vanity to look good for others is the most wasted emotion, no one really cares, and the only time you can get a 3p pov at yourself is through the mirror. With more maturity, and may be with finding genuine love in life, this evolutionary need for validation dies out.
- Futuristic: While my attention span has never been a friend (i suspect undiagnosed ADHD), I think I have the ability to see things down the road little longer, and work on things in a goal focused. Getting into shape was one, learning topics and improving my awareness on that is another,
My life now with its experiences, like a clock metronome, wherein I experience movement of time itself. I it almost akin to taking a bus journey knowing the destination, while talso taking in the world from the window seat.
I think the sense of mortality also makes we want to increasingly expose my mind and body to new limits and experiences, whether going and sharing my ideas to the world, or pushing my workout limits
40s feel so different. It has taught me acceptance, but also taught me agency, I may not have control over my life, but the choice of experience is mine.