Superstitious as f***

Despite my scientific background, education, and critical thinking skills — I am extremely superstitious.

I am not religious. I love the contrarian viewpoint. I am able to think for myself. Yet I am incredibly superstitious.

It is primarily because of witnessing too many improbable events. In healthcare, some of the best workers (clinicians, nurses, emergency techs) have their own set of rituals and things they do to support good outcomes for their day. Sometimes this is going the extra mile for another patient, not the one they are dreading a poor outcome. Sometimes it has to do with self-deprivation - where you miss dinner so that the night goes well and nobody dies.

All of the choices make no sense. For myself, I usually employ a combination of self-deprivation plus an extra focus on ‘doing the right thing.’ I tend to pay things forward. Like paying anonymously for the person behind me in the Starbucks drive-through.

I was anxious about a difficult work day, and had paid for the man in a truck behind me. The staff usually hides my identity well, but of course this guy had to follow me. I tried to lose him, as if we were in some poorly directed car chase. I knew if I pulled into my work parking lot, the magic would be gone. He would see me, thank me, and even try to do something nice for me. Ugh.

I ended up driving around a few foreign streets until I lost him. My colleague asked me why I was late to work. I responded that it’s because I’m superstitious as f***. As she caught me up on the morning, I put on my white coat confident the day was mine.