Sep 16, 2022

September 16th - My life should be a movie (3/n)

Also, given I am at a distance now, can I give him the credit he deserves for the effort that he put in to fix it? Can I slowly let this ghost of 2017 Nelson lose power over me so that I can gain inner peace? Can I forgive? I am a very vengeful person, and I know I have felt like "I want Nelson to suffer for what he did to me", "I want him to feel the pain he has put me through", "I want him to know what he did wrong"

But as I spoke to him today, and heard him apologise and say sorry and also explain, I realise that he has felt bad for what he did, he is aware of what he did wrong. He constantly tried to right his wrongs by staying together and thinking he could make me happy somehow. Yes, Nelson did all of those terrible things that I hated him for. But it happened because that is how he grew up. He tried to change, and I know my memory filter does not show up those incidents as much or ever, but I do need to give him credit for trying his hardest to alter his world views. How much more can I punish him and torment myself for having the inability to let go?

Personal Journal

Pari's personal journal

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May 30, 2023

I was just complimented and I will cry

I am writing this blog post to commemorate what it meant to me to be publicly appreciated for my work. It made me feel absolutely awesome. It made me want to cry. It made me feel so grateful for being where I am in life at the moment. Thank you, Rachit, because I now know the impact of appreciation. It can lift you up so much

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Apr 9, 2023

9th April - career directions

For some reason, I have been feeling like I want to do higher studies. My motivations for doing that are 3 fold: 1. I really enjoy student life and want to experience it again 2. I want to stay abroad for a couple of years to travel and experience life 3. I enjoy studying However, I need to find the right program for myself. I see a lot of different options, and it is slightly…

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Feb 13, 2023

13th Feb

I am feeling very overwhelmed by my work. It seems like a never ending pit of tasks to do. No matter what i do to figure it out, it is still pending. More and more and more. I cannot seem to reach any conclusion. Perhaps this is because it is such menial, manual work. Perhaps because it is the extent of operationalizing everything. This is painful. But I know what I need to…

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Jan 30, 2023

28th Jan - facing the very real possibility of what I thought would be “impossible”

Maybe this is a lesson in never taking anything for granted. I’m not even sure why and how we’ve landed at this place, but we have. Questioning the foundation of something I never thought I’d need to question. Because this was the axiom upon which everything was built. But I guess, here we are. Time to wait and see what is to be said. Feels like the ball in your court. I’m…

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Jan 26, 2023

27th Jan 23 - Conversations with Appu

By age 27, all of us have become scarred by our experiences to some extent. I can see that most of us have done things that we regret, have reacted in ways that we shall not anymore, now that we are stronger, better wiser. Is part of growing up also just learning to make peace with past mistakes and past regrets? I was having a conversation with Appu today. To rant and to…

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A little more from Personal.

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I was just complimented and I will cry

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13th Feb

28th Jan - facing the very real possibility of what I thought would be “impossible”

27th Jan 23 - Conversations with Appu

More from Personal

I was just complimented and I will cry

9th April - career directions

13th Feb

28th Jan - facing the very real possibility of what I thought would be “impossible”

27th Jan 23 - Conversations with Appu