Publicly Admitting Confusion

I wish more people would admit when they don't understand something. There's a typical pattern I've observed in meetings at work where a person is trying to explain something complicated or technical. I often see the speaker periodically asking things like, "Right?" or "Get it?" and everyone just nods their head sheepishly. But you can tell that they still don't get it. They don't understand the speaker and they just don't want to admit it.

This is problematic in more ways than one. Not only does the listener remain confused, but other people in the same meeting might begin to feel embarrassed. They might be mistakenly led to believe that they are the only one who doesn't understand. In reality, no one understands what's being discussed and no one will admit it.

Why not be the person who is willing to say, "No, I don't get it."? Actually, I see people do this occasionally. But there's another outcome that I don't see very often; sort of a middle ground. You could say, "No, I don't get it. But that's fine. I can figure it out on my own time." In that case, you open up the psychological space in the meeting to feel confused and demonstrate some humility, but you don't risk rabbit holing and getting things off track.