Lies told in childhood

We are all lied to in childhood. The very first one in the West is about Santa Claus.

When people lie, they usually do so to advance themselves in a self serving way. But this isn’t how I viewed my own behavior towards my kids. I was typically lying to protect them. Spare them from a cruel truth that they didn’t need to hear or were simply too young to hear.

As a child, I remember the first lie I was told was about God. If I prayed, I would be good, and nothing bad would happen. If something bad happened, there was a greater justification that was ever present and as a human, I wouldn’t be able to rationalize it.

For my own life, that has worked out more or less. I don’t question bad things too much. But that’s only because I’ve been fortunate.

As I grew more interested in other people’s stories, I started to see a lot of things I could not justify or understand. It wasn’t good enough anymore to think that this was part of some great cosmic plan. Injustice and cruelty are terrifying, tangible things.

I haven’t yet decided how I will talk about God to my kids. In order to avoid lying, I may need to have them focus on specific things: the cascades on a bright blue day; the learnings from a space museum; the geometric patterns of ancient tiles; the insignificant, resilient plant.

These are just a few of the times that I have felt something supernatural. And there is only one word to describe it: true.