It's a bad day, not a bad life.

I try to live my life without regret. I try to live in the present, neither the past nor the future. It isn't easy though. I have bad days all the time, horrible, miserable days. At times I just want to give up and many times I do. In these moments, I find it hard to live in the present and yearn for a better tomorrow or miss a better past. Today was such a day. I broke down in the middle of the day, at noon. I searched for relaxing music on YouTube and played a random playlist. I read a few comments, one of which is the title and the other goes,"To the person who's reading this. I hope you'll get better, and everything will be okay. Sleep well". Seconds after, I cried. Not just tears streaming down my cheeks but a full on sob. Alone in my room, I cried.

I reached out to my brothers, one who lives halfway across the world in an entirely different timezone. Half an hour later I brushed away my tears, gathered myself and joined an online meeting for work. I had no strength but I had to muster through. I wanted to run but I didn't. It's okay to cry, to have moments of weakness, and to run away. That in itself takes courage.

Life is too short to be miserable. You only have this one life so do what you love. I'll do what I love too, I'm not there yet but I'm finding myself everyday. Sometimes I hate myself and I hurt myself even, but I'm learning to love myself gradually. If you're in a tough time too, I know you have the courage in you. Take a deep breath. Listen. Learn to love yourself.