How your past defines who you are today
This seems like a very traditional and a cliche thing to say, but its more important than we give credit to.
Coming from a broken household, experiencing things no one would want their worst enemies to experience.
If i ever got a chance that allowed me to change what happened in the past i would decline that offer because the person i am today, is because of all the harsh experiences that happened in the past.
There were times i felt like killing myself(during the lockdown), but I just feel those times were the necessary character development i got, instead of seeing it as bad luck i consider myself lucky.
Instead of thinking about how it would actually be like to have a good father figure, i took it upon myself that i will be that person who i wanted as a child.
It can be alienating sometimes, in social situations when somebody is talking about their happy families and it all feels like a deep void inside of you, and you feel nothing.
i have to be honest, no matter how much time passes some of the things that happened will stay with me forever as eternal scars that remind me of the past. Experiencing betrayal from your own family members damaged my sense of self and it added self doubt to an extent that it affects me today even after ive recovered from most of it. Whenever i try something new i have that bitter voice in my head that says "you aren't good enough, you are not fit for this" , and honestly its a life long fight as it feels, i try to reject those feelings as much as i can