A sort of a rant, no sorry poem!

I don't even know
Why am I here
HE didn't tell me
Just left me in fear
To figure it out
For myself
Without making sure
That it is all clear

This is not fair
In any which way
What else is to be done
Someone who knows
Please come
And quickly tell me
The direction to be taken
Whether to go
This way or that one

This is insane
The way world works
I don't even understand
What works and doesn't work

I just say
Next time, next time
I will do this thing and that thing
But
Which I can barely manage
To figure out or define

Not that I am
Not grateful or don't recognize
The blessings that I am bestowed with
In every aspect of my life
And that
I am privileged
More than many
Who have to compromise
In ways
That I don't think I can count
Or ever summarise

But, I still need more
Which is a shame
What is the point of anything
I wonder
Do we have to come here
And keep playing
This endless game

Even if I win
Many will lose
Is that all I am
Who always has to choose
Between myself
And others
Then why do we name them
Sisters and brothers
And fathers and mothers
And so on
And on
What message does this send
Does this negotiation ever end
Or does it continue
Until we all are gone
And the lifeline decides to bend
After the lights
No more turn on
In the end