“Next time.”

Next time… a promise that was never fulfilled. As a kid, whenever I ask my mom for something she’d say “maybe next time?” Or whenever i ask if we can play a game together “next time?” I didn’t think much of it snd always hold onto that “next time”

Now turning 16, I realised it was just empty promises. It was just a way to brush me off. I get that she was tired or not in the mood to play. But maybe a little play-pretend would be good enough. You might think im dramatic or whatever but this made me realised the next times were nothing after watching a video of a person not having a single memory of them and their mother playing together.I paused to think..”when was the last time mummy ever played with me?”

Now that i think about it…we only played uno once but its only caused I begged them for it. That was the only time we played… but afterwards, I’d force myself to play uno by myself in a clutter messy space that i called “my room.” I won’t talk much about my dad though. He wasn’t around much so we didn’t get to play that often.

After this, I’ll stop hopping.stop hoping for them to play with me. Or be with me.

-A.S.J