How to Stop People Pleasing
The other day I saw a video about working out what we need in order to be happy.
It's not that we don't want stuff, it's just that it takes a long time to figure out if what we want is accurate or authentic.
Most of us just end up wanting what others around us want. We can spend a lifetime fulfilling other people's aspirations: making more money, buying a bigger house, getting the red sports car...only to discover none of it truly hits the spot. It fails to make us happy because we never wanted it to begin with.
Some of us do want to be filthy rich, live in a big house and drive a red sports car. And that's fine. Others might discover that's not what they want. Gradually they begin to explore how unexpected and distinct their appetites really are.
Understanding our own personal flavor takes a long time and nurturing the courage to do something about it can be even slower.
On the other hand, we are all going to be dead pretty soon. We need to throw out all our socially prescribed aspirations and honor the contours of our own beautifully unique characters before it’s too late.
If we're to avoid a lifetime of craven imitation and fear, if we are to become more than a second-hand timid flunkey, we may eventually have to grow a backbone - and become loyal to who we actually are.
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This came a from a beautiful, short video by the school of life. I'm really digging their stuff lately. https://youtu.be/EXiNC4s6D2g