Meaning takes time
I went to dinner with a group of strangers.
After each course, I was paired with someone new.
I met three interesting people.
There was a stack of conversational cues on the table if we didn't know what to talk about. We were allowed talk about anything we want, except what we do.
This wasn't about dating. That's not what we were there for.
We were there to make new friends.
As pleasant and wholesome as the conversations were, I probably won't follow up with any of them.
I'm learning that loneliness is not a consequence of how many friends you have, but rather the sense of meaning you share with the people you know.
And meaning takes time.
I don't think more dinners will cut it.
One way forward could be for anyone who's been to one of these dinners to pitch the group something they care about. Let's say someone wants to build a treehouse but doesn't know how. Someone else wants to reverse-vandalize a bus stand and cover it in beautiful art. Another person wants to design a guide on how to avoid being an asshole when you move from a city to somewhere less urban.
As long as the project means something to you, costs less than $500 to organize, can be done together in person, and lasts 4-6 weeks, it's fair game.
If a project interests you, you form a group.
The key is that projects must last at least 4-6 weeks.
People need time to get to know each other and find rhythm.
Understandably, this wasn't exactly what my friends had in mind for their dinner project.
But they weren't opposed to the general idea.
Admittedly, it's still a bit fuzzy.
Maybe it just needs some more time to come together.
4-6 weeks perhaps?