The thought of writing.

I stumbled upon this platform and became curious. Will restriction generate creativity? I believe it will, but I will have to see. Observe the changes. Useless until proven useful. But...
I expect external things to provide me with inspirtaion for writing. I don't hold my own procrastination and insecurities accountable. I don't fight through them and come out stronger. I blame and blame. I can write up 300 excuses before I've started my essay on digital archives I so want to write. Do I really want to write so desperately? Or am I a fraud, only aiming for the reactions, the affirmation I will get after a good piece.

I'm a scared child. Will you hit me if I delete my drafts?

In all seriousness, I like the idea of this platform. And I hope to improve my writing through it. Having a limited wordcount doesn't scare me as much as not having one. Uncertainty is the ghost haunting me daily. At night she makes me remember. Remember all my errors. Remember. Repent. Write.

I'm far from being a good writer. I shiver at my own words and freeze in front of a blank page. The freezing turns to avoidance. Avoidance turns into forgetting. And every month the cycle starts again.

I am forced to write now, because of my studies. At least we get wordcount limits. Something to hold on to.
Life's a learning process and I'm scared of change.

I'm a scared child and I only think of writing.