Gathering thoughts…
Woke up around 2:20am
feeling impending doom.
Worries about taking care of people.
Worries about not being able to do what I want.
Worries about always being at others' beck & call.
Watched some food & self-help videos on YouTube.
Got back to bed better
listening to train "chu-CHUNK=chu=CHUNK" noises
to distract me.
Don't make decisions on a high or a low.
You can decide anything you want.
You can work through whatever consequences those decisions lead to.
24 May 2022
Get Terry's writing delivered to your inbox, whenever they choose to send it.
Rarely as bad as one might think. Odd dream overnight: only frag I remember is opening up a box, and seeing 2 x insulated car coffee mugs, upside down & protected by styrofoam dividers. Big work project begun. Leery @ first, but once I started, stuff started coming together. Fair bit of work left to do, but initial reviews say it's working. We'll see ... Still riding some good…
Time feels right to get my will paperwork in order. Did up my list of "who gets how much". Still have to mull end of life issues, and won't put it off forever, but nothing pressing right yet. Felt good last night being part of a family of choice. Wondering why I'm still hesitant about taking the big trip in September. If my family of choice was good to me, how great would it…
Back from spending time with "family" - not blood, but "adopted". had to drag myself out a bit to get there, but had a thoroughly good time with them, some of whom I hadn't seen in person for several years. It can be nice to have non-family family around. No word from my buddy, but then again, for all his faults and foibles, when he needs something, he's not shy about calling.…
Good night's sleep, even without the whirlpool and crappy eating. Odd dream: only a snippet of making out with a woman I know to be a lesbian. Got to listen to birdsong over coffee this morning. The birdsong doesn't make me feel as happy as it used to. Time for a break, time for a change. 280720 May 2022
Good sleep - middle of the night, I'd wake up, see the time, relax and continue pleasant deep breathing for what seemed like an hour, then checked to see it was only 10 minutes later. Actually felt good. Work? OK. Lots of filing, meetings & meeting notes, then word of a major "dig up old stuff" project coming up. If it wasn't for all the other stuff coming in, almost cool.…
