September 17th - Nelaylysis (2/3)
Things I am angry with Nelson for, (Regardless of whether Nelson intended to make me feel this way or not, the impact was there):
- Making me lose confidence in myself and what I think is right. This is a power he continues to hold over me. He needs only to disagree with me about something and I begin feeling like I am stupid and I am evil and I don’t know how to deal with life.
- Making me feel like my feelings are invalid because he can reason them away with his justifications. This is a power he continues to hold over me.
- Making me internalise that I am really a very horrible person, the world just doesn’t know it yet. This is a power he kind of continues to hold over me, but I am aware that it is because he is a trigger for me and my own brain that takes the situations that way.
- Making me so scared of him that I was simply a shell of who I actually wanted to be - he does not hold this power over me anymore, and that is the most liberating aspect of my breakup