Self esteem

There's a very popular line in the web series "Kota Factory" which basically says that the preparation for the IIT-JEE examination shatters the confidence of students who don't clear the exams. I have been in that situation over 3 years ago. I now have a college degree in Management and have been at the top 10% of my batch for all three years and yet, that failure, of not faring well in engineering exams. Not being able to do something I never wanted to do in the first place has harmed my relationships; with myself and my friends who did well.
It is only now that I have realised the bridges I burnt with twoof my closest and oldest friends, because I felt not-smart-enough. I never reach out to them for anything anymore. When we meet its motly life updates and random conversations. Nothing real. Or at least that's what I feel. You should be able to reach out to your friends right? No matter who's "the smarter one". But I don;t and that SUCKS. Even though I am kinda good at the things I do now, I still feel inferior. They never make me feel that stuff, god no, it is all in my head, and it makes me sadder that with each passing year, as our lives become more and more different and we take varied paths, the friendship might not afterall durvive the test of time, and the reason most definitely would be my own self esteem issues.