Overwhelmed!
To begin some things either there should be passion or fear in your heart. Guess I have both and additionally the overwhelming feeling in my head which pushes me away from my tasks and also pulls me back from long procrastination.
I remember learning this word "Overwhelmed" in my 10th standard. My English teacher told it can be positive or negative. Little did I know this word would make big space in my life.
My first experience of getting overwhelmed negatively was in my 2nd standard. On odd days I had 7 subjects and I need to finish all the homework given for the next day. One day I was procrastinating to do my homework as I was overwhelmed by this tumultuous task. Around 8 PM, there was power cut, I started crying and told my mother that I didn't finish the homework and the teacher would punish me. My mother couldn't help me with my homework. My mom took me to her cousin, my aunt who lives next door, she is a teacher. My aunt saw my crying face and told me she would help me with my homework. She started arranging all the workbooks, made a to-do list of tasks to finish. She guided me how to start with simple tasks and one by one can finish all the work with dedication and consistency. I finished all the work within an hour and she told me, "dekh ketha jaldi hogaya, iske vaasthe royi tu?" means "see how quickly you finished, you were crying for this?"
That day all I needed was someone to guide me, hold my hand through my overwhelmed state and help me to unwind and organize my tasks. I feel this need often even being a 25 years old adult.
Overwhelmed to publish this :)