Moving Forward Confidently and Without Permission

Autonomy and decision-making as an adult really does seem like a simple concept that I should have in my pocket by now. Somehow still, this practice has continued to elude me. Until now…

It’s so strange and exciting to finally accept that I can move forward in such a decision as lifelong marriage commitment. And without permission from anyone but God and my partner. Not from my parents, opinionated siblings, godparents or other members of my village.

My boyfriend - hopeful soon-to-be-fiancé and eventual husband - and I are going to be making many more big decisions like these together for the rest our lives. And we don’t need anyone’s permission. Seeking wisdom from others who have lived longer than us and that we trust and respect is a wonderful thing. Ultimately though, we will be held accountable for our own decisions, and we are the only ones who can sustain and make do with the systems choose. Including the commitment of life together.

I have few small hunches as to why I’ve always felt I needed permission. I don’t. I don’t need to take a poll. I don’t need help deciding.

I might stop sharing about this reality and how much this progress shocks me. I need to be cautious about who I open up to and invite to rejoice with me. With those I do invite, HOW they show up might bring valuable insight as I consider which people should continue to hold the influence and confidence that they do in my life.

I don’t want to be extreme, I need cautious wisdom too, but I want folks around me who will celebrate the progress I am making and not just affirm or exacerbate my fears.

Bold and confident. For the first time in my life. Wow. Onward.