Moments of clarity

Have you ever been pretty drunk but had these fleeting moments of clarity? Like you snap out of the buzz for a few seconds and your mind functions normally?

Sometimes you have these moments even when you are not drunk. You could be going on with life as usual, going through the motions. Suddenly you snap out of it. You see what you could be, you see your future potential. It almost feels like you can attain it.

You know what you need to change. What you need to do. But these moments pass by. The habits repeat once more, you are back to your old self.

You feel disturbed after this clarity. You try hard to forget who you could be. It is better to not have these moments. These moments show whom you could be. It tells you that you choose not to better yourself. Probably there is a bit of self-sabotage involved. The sudden awakening is your inner self peaking out, the self that you have been numbing.

We are all sharp knives. However the problem is we blunt ourselves. Each one chooses their own vices. Their own methods of blunting themselves.

Instead of using our situation to sharpen ourselves, instead of using it as fuel to fire us, we decide to burn the inner self, bit by bit. Steadily. Over the years, there is very little left.